“You’ve No Time For Us!” : Friends say I have changed after motherhood

How much does your relationship with friends change post a baby. Are you the same any more?

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The perfect mom – isn’t that what it always is about? The ‘perfect’ is everywhere you look; the pressure to be perfect is in every aspect of life. But is ‘perfect’ real? Is the photo of the mom who’s rocking her baby, her beautiful curly hair flowing in the wind, both baby and mom smiling at each other, silhouetted against a setting sun, amid a field filled with gorgeous daisies – is that photo real?

Here:

(a) I have not washed my hair in the past 4 days, (it is a new grunge look I am sporting; goes well with my crumpled tees), and
(b) There are no daisy fields around me.

So, I am guessing that photo is not real and all it does is make me feel bad. Truth is, motherhood is the most blissful period of my life but it is the toughest too! It is a juggling act wherein you are constantly trying to keep all the balls in the air and the balls have a mind of their own. As new mothers, we read a lot, are advised a lot, prepare a lot… but nothing can actually make us ready for what is in store. You go in with a lot of preparation, yet you actually learn on the job.

Once you become a mother, your relationships change too. The most important person in your life now is a small human, who does not come with an instruction manual, is very unpredictable, and mostly sleeps but for short periods of time. After becoming a mother my priorities and my capabilities changed. My friends felt that I was changing, and yes I was. I was no longer the perfectly turned out, fashionably dressed girl with the latest designer bag in hand (one within my budget), ready to go out on a moment’s notice in my ridiculously high heels…

The perfectly turned out feature was lost somewhere in my third trimester when my transition from human to waddling penguin was complete. The fashionable dresses changed to clothes that would fit me now, would be easy to wear, and could survive constant spit ups, and a lot of wiggling and pulling. Oh, I have tried wearing fashionable blouses, with frills, boat necks, layered ones…But trust me, it gets really difficult when you have a toddler who thinks it is absolutely normal to hang from and pull down mom’s dresses necklines! Now I stick to tees and yoga pants almost entirely. The designer bag is filled with sanitisers, diapers, wipes and snacks with an odd toy or two. And heels, you say?

So what about going out with, or talking to, friends? Do I get to do it?

Read it further  On WOM, were I originally wrote this :

Real Moms Real Stories

14 thoughts on ““You’ve No Time For Us!” : Friends say I have changed after motherhood

  1. That’s what the real fun of motherhood is all about, isn’t it? I sometime think, if I do not follow my cranky, grumpy mommy look – my daughter might not recognise me 😁😁
    Loved your post Smita… true to each word.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Very true Smita, once you become a mother relationship changes on many fronts but the same time we get to experience this amazing feeling of becoming a mother. Isn’t?

    Very well written post every mother can relate to.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Thanks Syeda so much 😊, I guess i do end up finding funny in the moments which are not so perfect , that is the way I am able to keep myself happy and satisfied, by finding the humour in the not so going great moments. I am so glad u liked it. Thanks for reading 😊

      Liked by 1 person

  3. I hear a LOT of that. I mean between my kids and my work. But it is a phase. Things go back to normal and you always need your friends. And the real ones are still waiting when you finally Bounce back to social life 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

  4. The best kind of friends will come to YOUR HOUSE with food and wine after baby is asleep. Or while you hold baby, and hang out with you even in between baby’s cries. The second best kind will be there in a few years when you have a free minute to catch up. To hell with the rest of them. 😉

    Liked by 1 person

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